Vigil The Founder

A letter from the founder

My father was my hero. Everything I build is a way of keeping him.

We braced for a long decline. What came instead was sudden, and the grief it left behind is why Vigil exists.

We thought we knew what was coming. My dad had multiple sclerosis for years, and MS teaches a family to brace, to watch for the slow decline, to make a quiet peace with the long road ahead.

It was meningitis that took him. Not years, days. He was gone before I understood he was leaving. And it happened just as I was settling into a new life in Nashville, the city where Martori is built now.

Grief never asked whether I was ready. It moved in. And it stayed.

No one warns you that the hardest part isn't the day it happens. It's the long middle: the months and years after, when everyone's life has resumed and yours is still standing in the doorway.

For a long time I could not find peace. There is no trick to it. But here is the true thing, the one I needed someone to tell me. It does come back. Not as forgetting. As a life that can hold the loss and still be a life.

There is a light at the end of this. Not the end of grief, but you, still here, learning to carry it.

What losing him taught me is that love does not end when a person does. It keeps looking for somewhere to go. Mine went into this.

My dad was my hero. He is the reason Martori exists, and the reason behind everything it makes: Vigil, Sanctuary, Meadow. Each one holds a person through something hard. Vigil holds grief, with no streaks, no guilt, nothing measured. Just a house you can return to, to write the letters and tend what remains, at whatever pace grief actually moves.

I built Vigil because grief is not a problem to be solved. It is a person to be kept. And no one should have to keep them alone.

In memoriam

For my dad.

Some time after he passed, I made this for him: the goodbye that year never let us say out loud, in a full room. I'm keeping it here because grief, when you finally let it be seen, is one of the few things that can make us less alone.

A video, made in his memory

If you have a few seconds, light one with me.

Thank you for keeping watch with me, even for a moment. The light stays as long as you do.

If you're somewhere in the long middle right now: Vigil was built by someone who has been there, for someone who is there now. You are still here. We'll keep watch with you.

Brian Martori

Founder · Vigil